Of Mice And Me

Today is such a gorgeous day that I decided to give the front yard a little bit of TLC. In addition to taking down the Christmas lights, I decided that I should go ahead and get a jump start on ridding the garden of unwanted weeds, and give the yard a little bit of a haircut. (Note to self…the next time Hubby decides to jaunt off on an extended stay on the other side of the world, seriously discuss hiring someone to mow the yard and trim shrubs in his absence.)

I opened the garage door and looked over into the corner where we keep the yard care items. Next to the lawn mower is a bin of lawn care chemicals and such…bags of weed and feed, seed, fungicide and ammonium nitrate, all neatly corralled in an extra blue bin that I had lying around. You can imagine my shock and disgust when I saw that that pesky mouse (or quite possibly rat) had gotten into the grass seed and eaten quite a bit of it…leaving the shells and his droppings all over the place. Yuck.

I swear, Hubby is missing out on all the fun of homeownership these days.

So I pull out the lawn mower and other items so that I can get to the bin to clean up this mess, when I suddenly have a flash. It's the night that I discovered this unwanted guest as he scurried across my path in the garage. Apparently, he was abandoning the bird seed in one corner for the grass seed in the other corner. Then I suddenly remember the scream and scurrying that occurred in the general direction of this particular corner of the garage after I returned from the hardware store with my sonic blasters. YES!! They work!! I must have successfully chased the little bugger off that night, and he hasn't returned since. Thus, my continuously empty glue boards.

VICTORY!!

And while I unpack the blue bin and take note of the items inside, I wonder exactly what he might have feasted on in this area. Did he stick strictly to grass seed, or did he sample other offerings in the bin? Did he inadvertently poison himself and then scurry off to his demise? Or did he sample the offerings and wind up in some sort of drug induced haze, stumbling back to his den. "Dudes! Ya gotta go check this stuff out!!"

I can only wonder.

I continued my labor of the day - after several attempts, the lawn mower roared to life and my lawn has been trimmed. I am a good neighbor once again. I've put down a bit of grass seed in the yard in an attempt to combat the brown spots that have crept across the yard. I've weeded my front flower bed, and adjusted some of the new brick edgers that are in place around the border of the bed. I cleaned the bird bath and refilled my feeder. Dying plants have been pulled, thriving plants have been pruned.

The Christmas lights came down, and have been safely packed away along with the other holiday items that were around the house.

A sense of tidiness has been restored.

My labors completed, I can sit in my office and gaze out the window, watching my feathery friends descend on my garden in a celebration of feed and water. I get about twenty wrens at a time, an occasional pigeon and a scrub jay. Yes…all these creatures are welcome in my sanctuary.

But not that mouse. (Or rat!)

Year in Review

As 2006 draws to a close, I look back on the past year and marvel at the changes. So much can happen in such a short span of time…life moves so quickly that you don't really realize how much has changed unless you actually make time to stop, look back and reflect.

* Still reeling from a bit of culture shock from our return to the States, Hubby and I uprooted ourselves yet again and moved cross-country to California. We also took the plunge and became homeowners. OK – technically, this all happened in 2005, but it was in December of '05 and can technically roll itself into 2006. Especially since we closed on our home on the 29^th…that's a year ago today, so I'm gonna count it.

* We nested. We lived in our home for two months without furniture, except for two camping chairs in the living room, a mattress and box spring for our bed, and moving boxes arranged to form an entertainment center for the miniscule TV that we bought to entertain us. It wasn't until the last day of February that our household goods arrived, and a few days later, our furry ones followed. Finally our home was complete – if still a disorganized mess. We've since managed to get everything situated and sorted, turning a simple house into a comfortable escape from the outside world. BTW – we're still in the process of making changes and upgrades to our home.

* I got a job. Can I just tell you how scary it was to purchase a house on one income?!? Fortunately, the stars aligned and I landed a good job in time to get paid so that we could make our first mortgage payment. *whew!*

* Hubby and I have networked and made friends while settling into life in this new place. We've met some great people through his car club, and I've made good friends at work. We've also reconnected with old friends and had some come and stay as guests. In fact, in the one year we've lived here in Cali, we've had six people come visit our home. Only two people made it to Europe to see us, and we were there almost five years!

* Hubby and I have continued our love of travel and managed to visit some amazing sights. Kings Canyon National Park – America's deepest canyon. Sequoia National Park – home of the largest tree. Death Valley National Park – home of the lowest point in the lower 48. Devil's Post Pile – an absolutely amazing volcanic formation. Yosemite National Park – home of the tallest waterfall in the lower 48. San Francisco – we didn't get to do too many touristy things here, but we did see the bridge! Morro Bay – amazing ocean views! Mono Lake, Bristle Cone Pine Forest, Shaver Lake, Huntington Lake…the list goes on and on and will surely grow in the next year!

* I've managed to land a better job! Technically, I don't start working there until January of 2007, but the offer was extended in November of 2006, so that's where I'm counting it. It's one of those jobs that you quietly hope and look for, all the while toiling away at your current one. The one that you have isn't bad, you just know that there's something more suited to you out there, and you're grateful for what you have while you continue to look.

* Hubby and I have endured separation…again. After more than two months of false starts, Hubby returned to the sandbox. In an almost perverse way, we're fortunate to have been through this before. We know what to expect and can prepare ourselves for it in advance. Long distance love, connecting via e-mail, occasional phone calls that are hit-or-miss, letters and cards, care packages and little surprises. We know how to stay connected to each other and also know that we support one another one hundred percent. We know that there are no worries over the separation – we're both strong people when we're apart, and that makes us even stronger when we're together.

And thus another year is gone. We close another chapter in our lives. All in all, we've had a good year. There have been a lot of stresses…things that could have come together to form a recipe for disaster under different circumstances. Fortunately, we come prepared with an outlook that allows us to take these things and turn them into positives. We've done well.

Taking the time to reflect on the changes of this past year helps me to prepare for the upcoming year. Only time will tell what will happen in 2007. But I can look at everything that has happened to us in the short span of 2006 and tell myself that no matter what gets thrown at us this year, we'll make it through.

Bad Momma

I am suffering the guilt that only a mother can feel.

Let me explain…

The day is Tuesday, 26 December 2006. The time…4:30am.

That's right… four thirty in the morning. I am awakened by Fred because his collar is jingling from pacing the floor and he's breathing really heavily. You know…that fast, excited, loud breathing that dogs do when they're upset.

I lay there for a few minutes trying to ignore him, and also trying to listen to figure out what has him so darned upset. There's no wind, no storm…what can it be? After about ten minutes, he's not giving it up, so I decide that he must have to go to the bathroom. At four thirty in the morning. Can't be bothered to wait two more hours, now, can he?

So I get up, stumble into the living room, turn off the alarm and let him outside. My eyes were so heavy with sleep that it hurt to open them. When all is said and done, I reset the alarm and crawl back into the warm bed. Fred lays down on the floor next to my side of the bed and does that "smack smack sigh" thing and goes to sleep.

As I'm laying there, trying to get back to sleep, suddenly it hits me. Fred Fart. The SBD kind. It wasawful. Labrador farts are the worst.

Sleep was lost. Gone for good. I could lay there with my eyes closed, but sleep just wasn't happening for me any more.

So I'm forced to live through the day, having been rudely robbed of two precious hours of sleep because of Fred. Fred – who most likely spent the day curled up in bed while I was suffering at work.

Fast forward to Tuesday night. A winter storm is rolling into the area – meaning lots of heavy rain and wind. Wind at my house means a whistling up in the attic and quite possibly through the windows and door. Yes…reinsulating and changing the windows and doors are on our "to do" list.

So I crawl into bed at 9:30, hoping to find the sleep that so eluded me that morning. I even took the precaution of removing Fred's collar, because I knew that a storm outside means Fred pacing the floor inside. Fred pacing the floor means the jingling of his collar. Jingling of the collar means no sleep for me.

Well…he curled up on the floor next to my side of the bed and proceeded to smack his chops nervously every couple of minutes because of the weather outside. I try to be patient and intervene a few times with a stern, "Fred – Stop it!" Which works for about three minutes each time I say it. Visions of me duct-taping his snout shut start dancing in my head as sleep continues to elude me.

Finally, at 10:30, I get out of bed and coax Fred out of the room. At which time I promptly close the door and crawl back into bed…where it still takes me awhile to fall asleep because of the guilt that weighs heavily on me.

Laying there in my warm bed with my black cat resting against my body, silence enveloped the room, broken only by the sound of rain beating against the window. Music to my ears, but causing my poor dog to spend who-knows-how-long pacing the hallway.

I feel awful. But well-rested.

Pet Peeves And A Resolution

Following is a list of my major pet peeves, in no particular order (except for that first one…):

1. Misuse of the apostrophe. If you were to ask me on any given day what my number one pet peeve is, this one would win hands down. Nothing annoys me more than to see a professionally printed sign with the apostrophe used where is shouldn't be. "DVD's For Sale." Are we saying that the "for sale" belongs to the DVDs?? Because that is what is implied by the sign. It's very sad to me that this type of misuse is so common that people don't even notice when it happens anymore.

2. People that chew with their mouth open. I neither want to see or hear you food as it begins the digestive process. Take smaller bites, press your lips together and chew. Keep your lips closed. It's not hard. I absolutely cannot stand the sound of smacking! (gum included) I've even been known to get up and move away from an offender.

3. Repeating myself. I hate this. In my current job, it appears that I am responsible for informing sixteen different people where the other admin is when she is away from her desk, or where the latest plate of goodies has come from. And it appears that I get the joy of doing this for each individual as they mosey up to the front of the office. I am not a parrot. I've actually taken to writing down where something comes from and sticking the note next to said goodies. Woe be to the person that opens their mouth without bothering to read the note. I'm about to suggest to the other admin that she send out an email, detailing her schedule, every time that she gets up from her desk. It seems that as soon as she turns the corner, she is the most popular person on the floor. Maddening!

4. People that tune out of a group conversation, then tune back in and insist on knowing what development has happened in the past two minutes. If you cannot multi-task your attention span, then don't try. Focus on the conversation at hand. Please refer to pet peeve #3.

5. Those stupid prank calls that comedians conduct and then record to share with the whole world. I don't know what is more sad…the fact that someone bothers to waste a customer service representative's time on these worthless endeavors, or the fact that said customer service representative actually falls for the story being spun to them? I heard one last week that actually had a representative believing that a potential customer's walls fell down, leaving their windows suspended in mid air. With nothing supporting them. I thought that the gig might be up when her supervisor came on the line and informed the "customer" that there was no way that windows could be hanging in mid air with no support. Sadly, the comedian managed to convince the supervisor that this was indeed the case, and she actually fell for it. *sigh* I didn't laugh…I just shook my head. Idiots! Which leads into my next pet peeve…

6. Stupidity and idiocy. How can some people be so dumb? So stupid? So unable to see the writing on the wall, right in front of them? I'm not talking about intelligence…I'm talking about people that have no common sense. People that can't look at the entire picture, put two and two together and come to a simple conclusion. They should be shot…all of them. At the very least, I'm voting them off of my island.

7. People that can't drive. And there are millions of them out there. And I do believe that the bulk of them are in the same part of town that I am in at any given moment. It is so easy to see how road rage can become such an issue…to be stuck behind someone that insists on going five miles per hour below the speed limit…to be cut off by someone yakking on their cell phone…watching people charge through red lights (while yakking on their cell phone)…people that don't use their blinkers to signal turns (while yakking on their cell phone)…people that in general don't know where they're going (are they getting directions from their cell phone?!?)…people that slam on their brakes rather than miss their turn…people that ride out the merge lane until the last possible second, then insist that you let them in…rubber-neckers and people that cause traffic to back up on freeways for no apparent reason…my list could go on and on. Every morning, if my windows are covered with condensation, I take the time to squeegee them off so that I stand a better chance of steering clear of all the idiots out there. I'm not saying that I'm perfect…I'm just better than a lot of other people out there.

8. Ah, a personal favorite of mine…Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part. I am a planner and an organizer. DO NOT rush up to me at the last minute needing something faxed, mailed, fedexed or delivered to another department. The deadlines are the same every day. You know what they are, and they're there for a reason. Just because you chose not to meet your deadline does not automatically mean that I now need to be rushed to do something for you. Particularly when it is time to go home.

9. People that are entirely out of touch with reality. I'm not specifically referring to the Paris Hiltons out there…you don't have to be rich to be out of touch. There are plenty of "commoners" out there that have lost touch with reality. If someone says that they're not participating in a specific endeavor, don't ask a lot of unnecessary questions. That runs the risk of opening up an ugly can of uncomfortableness for someone. Just because you can do it doesn't mean that everyone else can. And speaking of not asking questions…

10. Nosy busy bodies. If I happen to overhear a conversation that I figure I shouldn't be hearing, I try to tune it out. If I can't tune it out for whatever reason, I certainly don't start asking questions. There are certain things that are not my business, and I'm pretty darned good at realizing what those things are. I also can't stand when people start sticking their noses into my personal business and I do my best to cut them off as kindly as I can. I may come off as a little cold while I'm doing it, but if you hadn't been sticking your nose in my business, I wouldn't have had to go there.

11. Having to explain myself. For whatever reason. Why did I choose to go here instead of there? Why did I do this instead of that? See complaint outlined in pet peeve #10.

12. People that feel the need to throw their two cents in…when they should have kept the change. Not everything requires a comment or the expression of your opinion. Sometimes, it is better to keep your mouth shut and not say anything at all. Quite often, that is the best action to take.

13. Slow talkers. This includes people that call a business with no real thought process having gone into the direction that they want the conversation to go. "Uh…this is Jane Doe…and…uh…I was calling because…uh…" GET TO THE POINT ALREADY!!!

14. Hypocrisy. Why should it be OK for you to do something, but not for someone else? I absolutely hate people that lay down double standards. I've actually been known to call some people out on this… "Uh, hello pot…this is kettle…"

15. People that insist that your opinion is wrong. Just because my opinion is different than yours doesn't make one right and the other one wrong. Hmmm…last time I checked, opinions were opinions and not subject to the court of right vs. wrong.

16. People that try to impose their beliefs on other people. It can be religious beliefs, dietary beliefs, beliefs in aliens…whatever. Believe and practice what you want to…just keep it over there and don't try to press it on me.

This list is not all inclusive. I have other pet peeves. Trust me on that. I've chosen to leave some out for the sake of tact. Ah…yes…let's add people that lack tact to my list. We'll make that one #17.

On this note, my New Year's Resolution is to practice tolerance. Mark your calendars…I hereby vow to do my best to be more tolerant of others. I will work to practice my "Duck Theory of Relativity." No…that doesn't mean to duck and hope that you don't get hit. It means letting things roll off my back and not affect me in a negative way.

I make no promises…especially when it comes to stupidity and idiocy. But I will try.

Happy Anniversary

Today is Christmas Eve.

It is also mine and my Hubby's seventh anniversary.

Even though we're miles and miles apart, he still takes the time to make sure that the day is special for me:

And tucked in among those beautiful reds:

These lilies are tucked in throughout the gorgeous arrangement!  And they're all in various stages of bloom, guaranteeing that this beautiful bouquet will change each day.

And the fragrance is intoxicating!  The entire front of the house smells like the perfume of roses and lilies.  It's a little slice of heaven.

Hubby isn't the kind of guy that normally buys me flowers.  This is only the second time he's bought me a bouquet of flowers in our entire history!  (He did buy me a potted hibiscus once...too bad we couldn't bring it back to the States with us!) 

What a way to brighten my day!  I can't wait until the next time we get to talk!  

Mouse Update

I'm going to take advantage of my pre-approved tardiness to work to post an update this morning...

My hero from Terminix just left.  He put down six glue boards laced with peanut butter to see if we catch anything.  (We my ass...I'm not bagging those bad boys up for disposal...someone from Terminix will be called back out to dispose of any uninvited guests to this party!)

I told him the story of my little not-named-Mickey-mouse and how he felt the need to introduce himself to me after gorging himself on my bird food.  He asked me if it was OK to use glue boards, and I told him to do whatever works, I'm not picky.  I should have told him that he was more than welcome to sit in my garage and pick off anything that moves with a bb gun if he so chose.    Just get rid of the damned things!

So we've got traps laid, and we'll see if anything pops up.  I hope that the sonic blasters that I bought do the job sufficiently...especially since he informed me that the droppings that I found on the car cover of my Hubby's project car was most likely RAT droppings!  I may faint!

Please stay out of my house...please stay out of my house...please stay out of my house....

Fantasy World

OK…I'll make the admission. I live in a fantasy world.

No…not literally. Hubby and I actually have a pretty modest existence. We have a modest home, live on a modest income (for our area) and drive modest vehicles. (Ok...his car is a bit flashier than my granny mobile...) While we enjoy travel and entertainment, we don't eat out every night or embark on luxury vacations. Usually a day trip to the national parks will suit us just fine.

No…in my head, I live out a fantasy life. Amazingly, it is still a modest life, just a little better than the one that we're currently living. It helps me to make it through the day-to-day things in this life if I have this little place to escape to.

Mostly, I envision the same house we're in now, just better. The windows are new, the kitchen is remodeled (with Granite counters!) and our bathrooms have been redone. There's a bath tub big enough for soaking in. Everything is organized. The house is always clean. And of course, I don't have to do the cleaning. It is a fantasy world, after all.

We have no money worries. No mortgage to pay, no bills…they just don't exist.

I drive a new car. Nothing very fancy – it gets good gas mileage and has a sunroof and heated seats. Those of you that live in very warm environments and don't have a need for butt warmers in your car seats can count yourselves lucky. It's my fantasy, and I don't want to have a cold butt.

While I'm at it, the temperature in my fantasy house is always perfect for me. Never too cold!

I have the same husband – proof positive that it really is love – he's just home more often, has more money and cleans up after himself. Again – It's a fantasy!! Let me dream!

I don't have to work, and we travel more. I'm not talking trips to fantastic places all the time. Of course, there are some of those trips, but mostly we're just driving to see something new and enjoying our time together.

Sometimes, I break away from the mold and envision us in a different house. A bit bigger than our current home, and it's an old home. Something with character and charm. And a wraparound porch. And land. Space for the dogs to run, a blank slate for me to garden, and big enough for our (future) kids and their friends to have a safe place to play. And there is a multi-car garage for Hubby. Of course, even in my fantasy world, I am a realist and know that no matter how many car stalls we have, my vehicle will never see the inside of a garage. (It may be a fantasy, but even I have limits to how far I'll allow my imagination to roam!) More car stalls means more cars for Hubby. J So in this other fantasy house, I have a covered carport for me, and a big detached garage with a workshop for Hubby.

That's it. I guess that this is proof that it really doesn't take much to make me very happy. I'm pretty well grounded in this reality. Our life is good. I don't need expensive things to make life complete. I just want my loved ones around me, and a secure, comfortable lifestyle.

My fantasy world isn't something so extravagant that it is out of reach for us. In reality, I see it as what we're working for. And it is attainable. Perhaps I'm just looking ahead and seeing what is down the road a ways. And that's fine…I like what I'm seeing. I hope we get there.

First It Was Spiders...Now This!!

OMG!

So I'm doing laundry tonight....and I go out into the garage to grab stuff out of the dryer when A MOUSE scurries past me from under my pantry cabinets.  A MOUSE!!  I just about jumped out of my SKIN! 

Turns out that the little bastard was eating from a bag of birdseed that I had sitting on the floor next to the dryer.  And by the looks of it, he had been at it for quite awhile.  Can't say I blame him...it's nice and warm there next to the dryer, and a nice source of food right there.  How he got all of that seed out through the ittybitty hole in the bag I'm not sure, but he sure left me a mess of empty seed shells to clean up!

Thank goodness he didn't find the bags of dog and cat food sitting there in front of the pantry cabinets!  Those have been moved to safety inside, where their only predators will be my incredibly hard-headed cats.  I'll have to put something in front of the cabinet door to keep them from prying it open and chewing a hole in the bags to get to the food.  Goodness knows that they're fat enough to live off their own bodies for weeks, but still....

So anyhoo...I high tail it up to the hardware store with ten minutes to go before closing time.  I knowthey've got those sonic blastie things that emit a noise to keep rodents and the like away.  I pick up a pack of those and high-tail it back home, where I promptly run extension cords down to ground level and plug those puppies in, aiming them at both doors.  If I seriously feel the need, I'll go back and buy some for inside the house, too.

Tomorrow, I'll be calling Terminex.  Rodents are covered in our contract, and I plan to take full advantage of this service.

A MOUSE!!!!!  shudder

Household Rules

Fred absolutely cracks me up!

It is a well-known ritual in this Sullivan household.  If you go out and get a burger, you had better bring one home for Fred.  Or don't bother coming home at all.  That's the rule, and that's just how it is.

So tonight while out running a few errands, I finally decided to try an In & Out burger.  I have heard so much about them since I've been out here that I just couldn't put it off any longer.  I dutifully went inside and ordered two cheeseburgers and an order of fries.

When I made it home and came in through the front door, the usual frenzied greeting began, and abruptly changed as soon as Fred caught a whiff of what was in my hand.  It's as if he suddenly sniffed and declared, "Why, that bag has food in it!  I smell cheeseburgers!  MY FAVORITE!"

After giving Fred a suitable greeting, I deposited my take-out bag on the stove and proceeded back out to my car to haul in my purchases.  After my second trip into the garage to drop off cat supplies, Fred let his discontent be known in a very verbal manner.  I could hear him through the garage/kitchen door declaring, "Hey you!  Out there!  I don't know what you're thinking, BUT THERE'S BURGERS IN HERE!!  THEY'RE NOT GOING TO EAT THEMSELVES, YOU KNOW!!"

Upon returning to the kitchen, my purchases safely nestled on the couch, I began to "dig in" to the bag of goodies on the stove.  (I love the fact that we can leave food unattended around our dog without worry...even if said food is a cheeseburger!)  I pulled out our cheeseburgers and unwrapped them both.  You see, I know not to give Fred his burger all at once.  You have to tear it into chunks and feed them to him one at a time...preferably while you're eating yours.  If you feed him his first, then you're stuck with him staring at your burger while you're trying to eat.  It makes you feel very guilty.  He's very good at that.

My feeble attempt to stave him off with an offering of fries was met with a stare and an airsniff directed towards the bag on the stove.  He was saying, "What is this?!?  I don't want THIS!!  There's MEAT in that bag...fork it over, lady!!" 

Well, apparently I wasn't moving fast enough for Mister Fred.  He let loose with his "howl of discontent" that lasts a full seven seconds.  "Arrrwrrroooo..rrrrroooooo...rrrrrooooo...rrrrroooooo!"  translates roughly into, "C'mon....what's taking so long?!?  I'm not getting any younger over here!!!"

So after we've both eaten our burgers, and I move towards the back of the house, he picks up the first stuffed animal that crosses his path and gallops across the living room, down the hall and into the office ahead of me.  Such joy eminating from his being, and all over a little cheeseburger in a bag.

And that's why we have the rule.

I swear I love this dog. 

Crappy Connection

If you're keeping count, today's tally was one call at just over seven minutes.

FYI - when you're watching a show on TV, and someone has one of those sattelite phones with the really long antenna, and they're having this really long conversation with crystal-clear reception...it's a lie!

Not only do Hubby and I deal with trying to not talk over each other, I'm trying to hear him talk over a crackly connection and background staticky noise that makes it sound like he's standing alongside a busy interstate.

And then the call gets dropped.

Garrr!

But he thought enough to call.  Accentuate the positive, right?  

Animal House

Well, today I picked up my official job offer from The City.  Starting January 1, 2007, I will be employed with The City's animal control division.

This is a very exciting opportunity for me.  I'll be running an office that is in desperate need of organizational help.  It was all I could do to not look like a kid in a candy store when my new boss detailed all that she hopes to see happen in the department.  This is an organization that has been suffering from neglect, and is just now coming into all of the good things that it deserves.  I get to be there to help them rise from the ground and grow upwards towards better things.

I had the opportunity to meet most of the staff that I will be working with today - office staff, cleaning crew, adoption center personnel and the guys that go out and take care of the animals in the community.  They seem like a great group ~ and the office environment seems like one that will be really fun to work in!  I can't wait to get started!

I'll be working with people and animals in this new environment.  The people that work at this facility, both as paid employees and volunteers, are passionate about animals.  I'm really looking forward to getting to know them and their stories.  Animals tend to bring out the best in people, and we'll have a revolving door of critters moving through - both the people and animals will touch my life, I'm sure. 

I really think that this position will give me a chance to grow professionally and personally.  I will get the chance to really develop my professional office skills...something that has languished over the past year or so in a position that wasn't utilizing my skills to their full potential.  I'll get the chance to meet and bond with some really great people and develop my passion for critters.  I can already tell that it's going to be hard not to adopt every furry thing that crosses my path, but I'll be making new friends and hopefully seeing many go on to new homes. 

It's a great work environment - in a great location - a fabulous opportunity - and great pay.  It's like this opportunity was meant to be...just lying quietly on the side of my path waiting for me to stumble upon it.  This is one of those things that I've learned to go look for - good things are out there, just waiting to be found. 

It feels like this is just another stepping stone in my ever-growing path.  With patience and persistance, and by accepting whatever comes my way and finding a way to make it work in my life, I've managed to overcome another obstacle and grasp this brass ring.  It feels good.

SLEEP!!!

As I roll out of bed this morning, and stumble zombie-like towards my coffee pot, only one thought rolls through my head.

I WOULD KILL FOR THE ABILITY TO GET A FULL NIGHT OF UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP!!

Seems like I just can't accomplish that any more, and I'm suffering because of it.  I start to "crash" after 2pm, and fight to stay awake at work.  I make it home, and fight to stay awake until at the very least 9pm.  I crawl into bed and it takes me awhile to get to sleep (not unusual) and then just snap awake somewhere in the 3am hour.  If I don't let myself come too far out of it, I can get back to sleep, but it's ruined.  The remainder of my sleep isn't so good, and the cycle begins again.  And if it's not me "snapping awake" on my own, something happens to wake me up.  This morning, it was my computer rebooting in the middle of the night.  Some nights, it's one of the critters parading across the bed.  I never know what it'll be, but it's driving me batty!!

Thank goodness for the coffee pot with a timer...coffee is waiting for me when I get up.  That sweet nectar of morning - such a necessity in my life.

I actually had a full night of sleep one night last week.  It was absolute bliss.

  zzzzzzz........

SLEEP, DAMMIT!!

My Dog Is A Ferocious Killing Machine

Okay, I just have to laugh. Really, I love my dog.

As mentioned in my previous post, I have my windows open in the house today. I want to take advantage of this break in the cold weather to enjoy the mild temps and let the breeze blow some fresh air into the house.

Apparently, my dog Fred has issues with this. You see, we have curtains hanging on quite a few windows in the house. They're lovely curtains, and they soften up the appearance of the blinds underneath them nicely. Fred has no issues with the curtains on normal days, just the days when I open the windows causing these denizens of evil to billow in the wind. When the curtains hang nicely and quietly, unmoving, Fred isn't concerned with them. It's when they take on a life of their own that he gets all nervous and jittery. Right now, he's alternating between being glued to my side and pacing the floor.

Seriously, I love his creature.

While having a big dog (the only way to go when it comes to dogs, in my opinion) can create a bit of security, we seem to have gone wrong somewhere. Our big, bad dog - while able to instill fear into the hearts of strangers - is a big baby. He's scared of his own shadow! Okay…admittedly I've never seen him jump at his own shadow, but he has been known to be overly-startled when he hears a fart emerge from his own behind. You can laugh, but I'm not making this up!!

My "ferocious" dog is scared of loud noises. Firecrackers send him into a frenzy of nervous pacing that just about drives me crazy! It's not so bad now that we have carpet…but in our apartments with wood floors I would go nuts at having to listen to the clickclickclick of his nails on the floor. He also paces at heavy rains, thunder and lightning and heavy winds.

Today, one of the bedroom doors blew shut and Fred jumped behind me. He wouldn't go into the now suspicious room until I walked in to find something to use as a door-stopper.

The vet tries to look into his eyes with a little flashlight, and Fred jumps into the chair behind me. I can't help it…I go into hysterics.

Silly pup.

Now, he's not all wuss. He can perform his big ferocious duties when needed. He's been known to throw himself between me and a charging Boxer while out on a walk. It surprised the heck out of me when he actually jumped in the path of the oncoming dog, bared his teeth and growled a threat at the other dog.Where did this come from?

He also does a marvelous job of barking loudly and menacingly when the doorbell rings, or he hears a suspicious noise outside. It scares the crap out of anyone that isn't familiar with him, and that's fine with me. Particularly when the doorbell rings at ten o'clock at night. Who the hell rings a doorbell to a strange house that late at night?!? I don't want to know…and thanks to my ferocious beast, I don't think they'll be back! Good job, boy!!

And in spite of all of this, he is known as the dog with a kind heart. He gives up his rawhides and pigs ears to his best friends without complaint. He doesn't acknowledge the hateful swats of my crazy cat. And when said crazy cat comes and rubs up against his feet (foot fetish!), Fred would rather get up from his comfortable position and move than confront this crazy creature that he knows he's not supposed to chase.  He loves children, and recognizes that when he's too tired to run really far after his ball, that these little people can't throw quite as far as the bigger people, therefore making them the perfect candidates to throw the ball now. When we're out on a walk and children swarm to him, he'll stand still and revel in the affection.

Yes, he amazes me.

So he's laying at my side right now, staring nervously at the billowing red curtains in the office. I guess when Hubby comes home, he'll be installing the pull-backs next to the window so that Fred will be able to rest easy when I open the windows in here. After all, it's all bout making the dog happy, right?

That's right…my dog is a big, bad, ferocious killing machine.  And I love him for it. 

"Unusual"

Hubby and I have lived in quite a few different places. Every time we settle down somewhere, it is in a decidedly different environment than what we just emerged from.

But I've noticed a pattern wherever we go. It doesn't mater where we land, all the locals say the same thing. "This is unusual weather for our area this time of year."

We lived in Germany from 2001 until the tail end of 2005, so we were in Europe for the "unusual" heat during the summer of 2003. You remember...when all the French people died? It seems that every year, the summers get longer and hotter over there. It's all just compounded by the fact that so few people have air-conditioning in their homes. (Can you just imagine how enjoyable that hot hot hot summer was?!? All you could do was open your windows and pray for a breeze. If you were lucky enough to have bought fans for the limited time they were available in stores, all the better for you!!)

The recurring phrase would pop up time and time again. "This heat is unusual…you normally don't need air conditioning!" "My, but it's a dry season…this is very unusual." "That incredible storm last night was very unusual…we never get lightning or such strong winds!" "I hope the leaves change…we had such a dry summer that the trees may not have gotten enough water. Very unusual."

Now I read that the European alps (one of my favorite places to be!) is experiencing an "unusually" warm autumn/winter. The warmest in 1,300 years, so they say. People are canceling, moving or amending their planned ski holidays because of lack of snow on the mountains. Very unusual. Huh.

We followed the weather patterns in the States while we were gone. The Gulf Coast experienced the most freakish of hurricane seasons while we were gone. In all of my life living in Florida, I had never seen anything like it. And for once, I was glad to be out of the state. Up North, they got some crazy snow. Flooding in Europe as well as the States made the news.

Now we've settled in California. It was an "unusually wet" winter and spring this past year. Man, it seemed like the rains just wouldn't quit! The weekend that we closed on our house, Fresno was talking about the threat of flooding to low-lying neighborhoods because the systems were overwhelmed by all the water! Then there were a few weeks of 100+ temps this summer. Again characterized as "unusual" by the locals. Now, after a few cold weeks with freezing nights, we've slipped into a weekend with weather so nice that I've got my windows open. "Unusual" they say. The rains are a bit late this year, and it shouldn't be so warm right now. In fact, a record may have been broken this week.

Snow storms continue to bury sections of the States, cutting off power for days. Floods and wildfires and dry conditions abound. All considered "unusual."

What's up with all of this? Are my husband and I harbingers of unusual weather patterns wherever we go? No, I think that the answer is a bit more scientific than that. Global warming is a fact, despite what the nay-sayers think. It's here, and we need to do something about it. Quickly…before the "unusual" becomes widely accepted as the "new norm."

One Month Gone

Today marks one month since Hubby officially left home on his journey to the sandbox. What has happened and changed?

- The furniture in the living room is rearranged. My beloved sectional couch has been put back together, thus creating room for my ottomans to be replaced under the bedroom window. This has opened the foot of the bed back up for my morning ironing. I also purchased a floor lamp for the living room, eliminating the dark, cave-like feel until Hubby comes back and hangs the ceiling fan with light in that room.

- Have taken on the dutiful responsibility of driving Hubby's beloved car a couple of times a week, in order to keep it running in good condition while he's gone. Mechanical Emergency Number 1 - Why didn't he top off the power steering fluid before he left? That silly "Hicas" light keeps coming on and I'm totally baffled at how to read the contraption that calls itself a dipstick in the power steering thingie. Guess I'll find out when the next car club meet is and ask someone there to help me out. Grr!

- Scored a new job! It's a position kinda with the police department, so I'll be undergoing extensive background checks. They're going to fast-track it to get me in as soon as possible, though. The pay is a huge jump, and I'll be working with animals. Gotta turn in a mountain load of paperwork, get fingerprinted and take a polygraph. Holy cow!

- Survived Thanksgiving. Didn't have to cook…went to the grocery store looking for a rotisserie chicken and found out that they cook turkey breasts for you! SCORE!! Between that and the pre-prepared rolls, green bean casserole and mac and cheese, I may never cook Thanksgiving dinner again! Fred and I ate in style.

- Number of meals cooked: 0  (Note that I do not count frozen pizzas or baking a hamburger in the oven as cooking.)

- In an effort to appear Christmassy on the outside, have bought Christmas lights to hang on the eaves of the house. Took me long enough to find a style that I genuinely liked. Wound up with C9 sized bulbs (the big ones) in a frosted clear. They look really nice along the house. Also decided to hang cup hooks every two feet along the eaves…permanent fixtures so that all we have to do is hook our lights through them. One afternoon of work for years of laziness. I love it! I'm on the prowl for nice, simple and tasteful yard décor for the holidays.

- Accomplished the majority of our Christmas shopping. Ordered, signed, addressed and mailed off all of our Christmas cards (more than 50 this year!) For once, I'm ahead of the game, and it feels really good. Maybe I'll be able to keep up this new outlook. J

- Had our first medical emergency. Had to take Fred to the vet - his constant scratching has been driving me batty! Seems like he's having an allergic reaction to something, and a shot calmed him down after a few days. Also wound up pouring gunk in his ears twice a day for a week to clean them out. He was surprisingly cooperative.

- Hubby was gone four days, and I found three spiders. EEK! Called out Terminex to spray the house. Had them go ahead and spray for fleas, too…just in case. I really don't think that they're an issue, but Fred's constant scratching has really unnerved me.

- Planted my spring bulbs.  Black and red Tulips, Daffodils, Freesia and Aenomne (blue poppies.)  Can't wait to see them come up in a few months!!

- Have cleaned up and organized the office. Can finally vacuum in here! (Side bar - accidentally lost power to Hubby's computer, and it won't power back up…thus it is holding all of our photos hostage!) Got my scrapping nook organized and am ready to get down to some serious scrapping! Case in point - from November 4 until December 4, I matted and framed 5 photos and scrapped 124 pages. That's right - one hundred and twenty four pages! I've caught up from November of 2001 until April of 2003!! At this rate, I should be finished up with our European adventures in no time!! Incidentally, I've purchased two gorgeous parsons chairs for my desks…I'll be spending a lot of time at my scrapping station, and will need some cush for my tush!!

Crafty Ways

I have always had a passion for creating. When I was little, I was drawn to art. I loved drawing, painting, coloring, cutting and gluing. I would make life-sized paper dolls completely from scratch. I would trace pictures from coloring books and change the picture to suit my whim.

As an adult, I have taken my love of crafting and focused it into the preservation of memories. I'm working with photos and paper, creating a library of sorts of cherished times in my life. These albums read like journals, capturing memories, impressions and facts.

As I move steadily through my recent history, jotting down words that convey the stories behind the photos, I look forward to the possibilities that await me when I complete the project that I am currently working on. You see, being overwhelmed with thousands of photos that need to be incorporated into our library of scrapbooks, I am opting for simplicity and clean lines. Photos and art through words are carrying me through this project. The look is clean and contemporary, a style I often find myself drawn to.

When I finally wrap up this project, I plan to expand my horizons. I want to incorporate more decorative techniques into my work. I have tools - scissors, stencils, punches, chalks and paints. I even have decorative paper and stickers. I want to bring more artistic means to my work - the focus won't just be on the photos and the stories behind them. Sharing the spotlight will also be the time and labor that goes into creating the perfect canvas to display them. A labor of love. Patience and dedication.

I have a love for so many crafts. I scrapbook, create jewelry, mat and frame art and photos, draw, dabble in photography and home interior design. I've expanded my horizons into the outdoors - embracing gardening and learning a bit about landscape design. As I work at mastering one art form, another often catches my eye and demands my attention.

Creating in these ways provides me with such joy. It brings a balance to my life, as this is another way of expressing myself. I am able to work with my hands. I can pour my heart and soul into the creation of something beautiful. I can lose myself in the task at hand. The process of creating this way brings an element of calmness into my life. We all need someplace to escape to, and this is mine.

I can't wait to see where this road will take me. I love expanding my horizons and trying these new things. That's how passions are born, after all.

Dog Whispers

So I've started watching this show on the National Geographic Channel called Cesar Millan - Dog Whisperer.  The basic concept is that you have an unruly dog, so you ask him for help in correcting the dog's behavior.  He comes out to your home and environment and fixes the problem in literally like, 5 minutes.  It's the most amazing thing I've seen.

Does this guy speak dog?  It sure seems like it.

In actuality, what he's doing is training the owner. He shows owners how to establish dominance and let their dog know that their behavior is not OK.  It's pretty darned neat, and I think that I may be taking a lesson or two away from these shows.

He shows owners how to change the "energy" that they project towards their dog.  Just this one simple act shows the dog that they are not in charge...you are.  The simple corrective act of snapping your fingers, pointing and making a "shh" sound immediately corrects every single dog's actions.  They back down, move back and sit. 

There is very little "physical" discipline.  Tonight he showed one owner that reaching out and tapping her dog in an authoritative manner would stop the dog from jumping on her.  Moving your foot out to deflect the dog's jump is OK.  Immediately, this energetic collie-spaniel mix caught on and stopped.  All over a change in energy, a verbal sound and a touch.

Think you can't teach an old dog new tricks.  Nuh-uh.  He's working this magic on dogs that are 9 years old.  It's incredible. 

Seeing this show has shown me that we've done quite a few things right with Fred.  But there are some areas that require additional attention on our part.  Because I value our dog and treasure our relationship with him, and want to be able to share his company with others, I have promised myself that I will learn from this show and direct some of this Dog Whisperer's techniques towards our own pup.

Seriously...this guy is amazing.

Dwelling In The Now

I remember waking up one morning recently, and as I rolled out of bed, I was overcome with a wave of contentment.  I'm not sure what exactly caused this sensation to wash over me at that particular moment, but there it was. 

The thought that rang through my head as I stood there next to my dresser was, "You know what?  I'm really happy."  And it's true.  I've got a great life, a wonderful husband, our health and good friends.  It's been a long road to get us to where we are today, and there's quite a stretch of road ahead of us, but overall life is good.  I'm very happy with where we are.

We've had lots of great experiences - things that most people can only dream about.  We've been to amazing places and seen some spectacular sights.  We've met great people along the way.  Where we are today is a direct reflection of where we've been.  And where we've been hasn't always been easy for us. 

We've been uprooted, separated, and shuffled.  We've had to work hard to stay afloat.  There have been times where we didn't know exactly what was happening, but things always seemed to work out for us.  We've been in situations where we've felt at the bottom of a barrel and had to build ourselves back up.  Looking at where we are now, and where we've been, and how little we've gotten by on at times never ceases to amaze me. 

We miss our families and long-distance friends.  How different would things be if we had never uprooted our lives with the decisions we've made?  Where would we be today?  Would our lives be as filled with the comforts that we have now?  Would we be even more comfortable than we are now? What if we had not made these various sacrifices?  It hasn't been easy for us to take the paths that we've taken.  But the roads that we've traveled, the experiences we've had, the things we've seen and the people along the way have all been worth it.

I wish that I could look ahead and see what the future holds.  Oh, but for a magic looking glass that would tell me that things will be OK, or to look out for the bumps ahead!  Alas, no such devise exists, so we forge ahead hoping that our decisions will bring us closer to the life that we have envisioned for ourselves.    

Where will we be five years from now?  Ten years?  We don't know.  It could be that we'll still be in the home we've made for ourselves here, or we could be starting over again somewhere else.  It's difficult not knowing the answer to those questions.  But I think that we've learned to reflect on our past, dwell in the now and keep an eye open for what will come.

After all, we've made it to where we are, which is a pretty nice slice of life. 

Can You Hear Me Now?

Just want to take half a second to vent.

It's exceeding frustrating to get a call from my husband, only to have the connection continually crap out on us.

Tonight's tally is two calls.  The first one logged in at just over six minutes.  The second one at thirty one seconds. 

We don't even get to end on an "I Love You."

Garrr!!

I try to be grateful for the little things.  At least he calls.

Can you hear me now?  Can you hear me now?  How 'bout now? 

Cold Front

Winter here already?

How can this be?  My tree still has leaves!!

My toes are froze. 

Holiday Cravings

The winter holidays are upon us.  Winter's chill creeps in and changes the landscape around us.  Something different is in the air, and I love this charge in the atmosphere.

While I don't necessarily subscribe to the religious meanings behind Christmas, I look forward to reveling in the holiday mood.  Spending time with friends and family and creating memories to share.  Basking in the glow of the season and enjoying the music and decorations. 

When I was a child, it was so easy.  Christmas descended upon us, bringing a specialsomething to life.  As I've grown older, the holidays must have found a way to muffle the cheery jingling of bells, because they've snuck up on me before I know what's going on.  I would so love to go back to the simple and joyous days of childhood – when Christmas meant magic.

Sometimes it's hard to find myself slipping into the mood.  Throughout our time together, Hubby and I have often found ourselves in a state of upheaval during the holiday season.  More often than not, we're separated or in the middle of a move, making celebrating the season hard.  Two Christmases ago, he was deployed to the Middle East.  I decorated a small corner of the apartment and left the decorations up for two months until he came home.  I remember spending Christmas night in a hotel last year, eating dinner at Denny's.  I told Hubby that next year it would be different – we would be in our very own home and I would be able to cook a fabulous feast for the two of us.  Things didn't pan out that way – he's back in the Middle East again, and we're looking to chalk another holiday season up to being apart.  Ah, well…maybe next year.       

I so desperately want to get into the holiday spirit.  I want to revel in the joy of the season and the beautiful decorations.  I want to give in to the magic and the music and feel the warmth of the celebration of the season.  I would love to spend the holidays ensconced in the warmth of our home and decorate with wild abandon.  A tree, lights, wreaths, stockings, garlands and candles all aglow.  We have all of these things, patiently waiting in boxes in the attic for us to rediscover them and allow them to shine for that short period of the year that they are allowed.

In the absence of these things, I have vowed that I will do my best to find a piece of the season this year.  I've pulled out my shoebox of Christmas CDs and play them in the evenings.  I plan to hang lights on the eaves and place some decorations throughout the yard.  Maybe these small steps can tide me over this year, and we'll see what next year holds.  One day, I hope to rediscover the joy of this glorious season and recapture the magic.

Sacred Moments

As winter moves in on my garden and the daylight hours creep away before I even make it home from work, I am forced to turn my attention away from this new passion of mine to an old and faithful friend.

Years and years ago, I fell in love with the art of scrapbooking. My best guess is that this passion was born from my desire to preserve the wonderful and fun times that I shared with my friends in the Order of DeMolay. Those days truly are precious to me, and I can trace my fanatical attempts to preserve my personal history through photographs to this period in my life.

Somehow, my passion for simply placing photos in a generic album along with captions blossomed into a desire to do something a little bit artful while preserving my memories. I began transferring my multitude of photos into scrapbooks - taking time to carefully arrange the photos and making sure to preserve every possible memory through my careful journaling.

Eventually, I progressed onto other scrapbook albums as well - there's the first vacation that my husband and I took together to Washington, DC and through the mountains of Tennessee, our trip to Pennsylvania to visit my family, Hubby's basic training graduation, our lives in Alabama, and most recently, our time spent together in Europe.

Admittedly, I've allowed this passion of mine to slip to the sidelines. I've neglected my scrapbooks for the past five years or so, and am now paying the price. You see, while I haven't been scrapping my photos, I've still been takingphotos. Lots and lots of photos. So many photos that I sometimes wonder if I'll ever be able to scrap them all!

But I will. I so very firmly believe in capturing my life through photos. These are the best mementos - precious memories stored on a sheet of paper. Pictures truly do tell a thousand words, and I want to convey every one of those words through my personal history books. I consider my memories to be sacred- something so special that I want to always be able to recall them and share them as I wish. And I can do that through these books.

This mission of mine has taken on a deeper meaning - I am documenting not only my life, but the life that my Hubby and I share together. This is a legacy that we can hope to pass down to our children, as I also plan to capture their little lives in scrapbooks of their own. Through these volumes, our memories and sacred moments can be passed down and shared through the generations. In this way, I can hope to achieve immortality for us.

I sit in my office, so proud of the thirty pages that I've managed to get scrapped since picking up my pen again this weekend. I've finally carved out a niche in my busy life, and a space in my office, so that I can pursue this passion again. Thirty pages covered six months. I've been forced to send my memory back five years and recall the stories behind these images that have sat neglected in shoeboxes over the years. I've had to dust off the boxes as well as my memory. I'm playing catch up - looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. Only just over three more years of our grand European adventure to preserve, then I can move on to the story of our lives since returning to our home country.

As I embark on this new journey in my personal life, I find myself setting new and grander goals for myself. I've accumulated a multitude of photos from my childhood that are in desperate need of preservation. I've got photos and photos and photos of my time with Rainbow. I can't hope to recall what each photo documents, but I can hope to get them into a cohesive collection for reminiscing. I want to preserve our most recent trips, our home, my garden, our passions in life. It is a long road ahead of me. But I plan to meet this challenge head on - after all, it is a mission that I am passionate about.

The Love of A Dog

It was a mere month after the September 11 attacks on America. My soldier husband was pulling guard duty on our small base overseas. I was sitting outside our building with friends, basking in the fading warmth of summer and the oncoming crispness that autumn was bringing.

Hubby came home for a quick stop to pick something up at the apartment. When he pulled up in his humvee and stepped out, I walked over to see what was going on. He looked at me with such excitement as he told me that he knew someone that was looking for a new home for their dog. And not just any dog, he assured me – it was a black lab. I just looked at him. A dog.

My husband loves dogs. Any dog. He doesn't hesitate to make friends with any dog that happens to cross his path. When I see my Hubby and the man he has become, kneeling down and scratching behind a dog's ears, I see the little boy inside of him. It's very sweet.

I am a cat person. Dogs are too rambunctious for me. They jump and lick and run around. Cats are quiet, independent and come cuddle and purr.

But my husband knew that there is only one breed of dog that I really like. Labs have a spot in my heart – burrowed there by the labs that my brother has raised. Sweet, intelligent dogs that look at you with that look. I couldn't say no. Especially since my dear Hubby is allergic to cats, yet he let me get two. For the first year of our kittens' lives, Hubby sneezed and wheezed and popped allergy pills until he overcame this allergy, just to make me happy. How could I say no?

So the next day, we went to "look at" this dog. And there he was – a bundle of energy that bounded towards us when we walked in the door. He came to us with a smile on his face and that long tail just swinging from side to side. I'm pretty sure that my husband knew that if he could get me out the door with the dog, then he would be home free.

And so it was that we took him home. And he was so excited to just be there. It wasn't until the next day that Hubby settled on a name for this new addition to our family – Fred.

Fred.

And so our lives moved on. Fred moved in, and turned our lives slightly upside down. It is a fortunate thing for both Fred and Hubby that I was well aware of what was ahead for us with this little bundle of energy. He was somewhere around six to seven months old when we adopted him. I worked quickly to establish dominance over the pup. If he was going to live in our home, there had to be rules, and he had to be made well aware of them. We were lucky in that he was mostly housebroken. But he was still a puppy, and Labrador puppies are notorious for their teething.

Ah…the chewing stage. I knew about this one. And I came at it prepared. We worked out a method for confining Fred in the apartment in such a way that he would not be a danger to himself or our possessions. I would become fanatical about putting things away. My husband had to learn this lesson the hard way. He lost shoes to the gnawing machine that was our dog. Every remote control in the house was eaten within the period of a week. Pieces of furniture met their fate at the jaws of Fred. The baseboards in our apartment fell prey. TV Guides and magazines didn't stand a chance. It would appear that Fred was a fan of Stephen King, as "reading" The Talisman wasn't enough, Fred had to "read" Black House to know how the story ended.

We became accustomed to coming home and opening the door with trepidation. As the door opened, our eyes would quickly scan the room to see what had fallen prey this time. When my favorite pair of shoes were lost to the dog, I remember the first words out of my husband's mouth, "Don't kill him…I'll buy you a new pair!" Right. Those shoes were from two seasons ago…good luck with that! All I could do was shake my head.

Our neighbors would laugh at us – they always knew that Fred had been up to no good when we opened the door and the first words out of our mouths were, "Oh, Fred!" But that's OK – their day came when they, too, brought home a dog.

Yet somehow, even though I kept telling Fred that he was only with us on a trial basis, he burrowed his way into my heart. Time passed and he outgrew the bothersome chewing phase. He became free to roam the apartment in our absence. We tried to keep him off the furniture at first, but he quickly did away with that rule. I think that the turning point was when Hubby walked in and found Fred sprawled on the couch, his head buried under pillows to block out the light and sounds from the TV.

Fred does this to us often. In his own goofy way, he endears himself to us just by making us laugh at him. And it's not just us that fall victim to this ploy. Everyone that meets Fred falls in love. He makes an everlasting impression on everyone.

Fred has been with us for five years now. I don't remember what life was like before he trod into our lives with his big, clumsy paws and that crazy tail that serves as a meter for his emotions. How did we cope without having someone anxiously awaiting our arrival at the door every evening – jumping and cheering at us for remembering to come home. And where were we before we had someone that would hang his head so low in sorrow and tuck his tail low every time we would walk out the door?

He truly is a great dog. There have certainly been times when I've had my doubts about bringing him home. Most of those times have been when he would bolt out the door of our tiny apartment in search of the open outdoors. Chasing Fred across open fields was not in my contract.

But I wouldn't trade Fred for anything.

As the time approached for my husband and I to start planning our return to the States, people would ask us if we were taking Fred with us. This question always shocked and appalled me. I was suddenly met with a vision of Hubby, the cats and I at the Frankfurt airport – clearing customs and turning around to wave goodbye to Fred. Thanks for being a great dog and good luck to you. He would be standing there, hanging his head and looking up at us, tail tucked between his legs.

No – of course Fred would be coming with us. We would have to make arrangements on our own to get him back with us and figure out where we would all be living upon our arrival, but Fred is family. Where we go, he goes.

When Hubby and I moved out to California from our beloved Florida, we had to leave Fred and the cats behind, if only temporary. Living in a hotel is no life for animals, and we wanted to be in our house before bringing the critters out to live with us again. For the first time in years, we were living in a home without animals, and it was lonely.

Eventually, Fred and the cats were ferried out to us, and the house wasn't so empty anymore. Personality and warmth were restored to our home lives. Fred, true to character, greeted his new home as he greeted every new home – by charging in the door and running in circles, his little nose working overtime to try and figure out where he was and how all of his stuff got here before he did. He would turn out to be a much better house dog than an apartment dog. Having a fenced in area for him to roam has made all the difference. He knows which door is his, and which doors he cannot cross the threshold of without permission. My days of chasing him across the neighborhood seem to be over.

Fred has changed our lives in so many ways. His influence is ingrained in us – we've bought a bigger bed so that he can sleep with us. Our furniture is large and dark in color – to accommodate both his size and his shedding habits. When we were looking for a house to buy, it couldn't be on a busy road, it had to have a yard, we preferred the yard to be fenced and we preferred carpet to wood floors. All because of Fred.

Since opening our home to this stray – we're his third family - he has opened my eyes and my heart to new possibilities. As time has progressed and our relationship has grown, I can't imagine living in a home without him. Faithful Fred. He's always there, happy to see us come home, sorry to see us go. Our own personal cheering squad. He offers comfort and companionship. An ear that is always listening and the sweet face of intelligent kindness. All he wants to do is make you happy, and maybe persuade you to throw his ball for him.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to warm up to another dog quite like I have Fred. He has been so patient with us – training us to be the perfect people for him. I hope that we manage to live up to his expectations.

Old Friends

I stumbled across a memory of a favorite poem of mine. I fell in love with this poem years and years ago, and throughout my life, I have found it's words to be truer and truer as the years pass. 

Old Friends

There are no friends like old friends
and none so good and true,
We greet them when we meet them
as roses greet the dew.
No other friends are dearer,
though born of kindred mold;
and while we prize the new ones,
we treasure more the old.

There are no friends like old friends
where ere we dwell or roam,
in lands beyond the ocean
or nearer the bounds of home.
And where they smile to gladden,
or sometimes frown to guide,
we fondly wish those old friends
were always by our side.

There are no friends like old friends,
to calm our frequent fears,
when shadows fall and deepen
through lifes declining years.
And when our faltering footsteps
approach the great divide
we long to meet the old friends
who wait on the other side.

(I conducted a search, but was unable to uncover the author's name to give credit.)

Give Thanks

I am thankful for my wonderful Hubby. Wonderful in so many ways that are obvious, and others that are not. Thoughtful and caring, predictable yet full of surprises. A good heart, decent human being. Hearts full of love.

I am thankful for this wonderful life. Adventures and quiet times. Experiences.  Security and surprises. Comfort and joy. Full of friendship and love.

I am thankful for my furry critters. Warmth and unconditional love. Quizzical looks. Cuddling on the couch. Huddled in bed. Companionship.

I am thankful for family. Always a connection. Somewhere to turn. Love. Memories. Crossing distances to be together. Security.

I am thankful for long lasting friendships. Withstanding the test of time. Support and love. Good memories and fun times. Overlooking the distance and staying close. Getting back in touch.

I am thankful for our lovely home. Security and comfort. Shelter from the storms.  Warmth. 

I am thankful for time. Fleeting and everlasting. Moves too fast, yet has the ability to stand still. Gifted to have it to share together. Never seem to have enough.

I am thankful for our health. Not to be taken for granted. Strong and solid. Can change at the drop of a hat. Lucky to have it so good.

I am thankful for so many things. This life is a gift - treasure what you have been given. It changes every day and you cannot predict what the future will bring. Enjoy it now.

Float

Living a nomadic life can be very trying. It can be very hard on tender psyches to constantly uproot your life and move into a new situation. I never envisioned that I would be where I am today.

What would life be like if we had just stayed where we were so many years ago? We would be ensconced in our old lives, living the day-to-day. I would certainly be a very different person. As a result of our life events, I am much more accepting of change than I used to be. I have also learned to lean on those that are closest to me for support while at the same time to look inward for strength.

Constantly uprooting your life has certain consequences - some you see in advance, others you don't. Friends have been left behind. Others moved on without us - victims of their own nomadic lifestyles. Lives of those that we care most about have gone on without us in them…we pop in every now and again to see how things are going and are happy for the changes that have taken place, while at the same time we suffer from a nagging feeling of loss that we weren't there to share in the joy, too.

This is how things are. Life goes on, with or without us. There is no magic pause button that promises to preserve things for us just as we left them. The best we can hope for is to come back every so often and see what has changed for the better and what has stayed the same.

Perhaps the hardest thing is landing on your feet. Moving and changing your life can be earth-shattering. The ground under you feet literally changes. You have taken such pains to get to know where you've been, and just as you've gained a foothold you're faced with a new and unfamiliar landscape to master. Your personal finances take a beating and you wonder how long it will take to recover this time.

Assimilation eventually happens. The new landscape becomes the familiar. New bonds are formed, and life returns to normal. You develop new routines, build new roots and take what you can get until something better comes along. And something better usually does…you just have to be patient and wait. Maybe you have to look for it a little, too. But it's there.

I've learned patience. I've learned persistence. I've learned to sacrifice. I've learned to live modestly. I've gained strength. I've strengthened bonds. I've gained inner peace. I've learned the value of old friendships. I've learned to make new friends. I've learned to embrace change. I've learned to look for the positive.

I mourn for what was, while turning my gaze to what will be, all while living in the now.

I am a better person for it all.

Holiday Frenzy

Here it is…Thanksgiving again. It is time for the onslaught of advertisements – retailers pumping information into our heads. Convincing us that now is the time to buy…spend money…give in to excess…more more more.

The day after Thanksgiving is often viewed as the busiest shopping day of the year. (It's not...the Sunday before Christmas is, actually.) People give in and contribute to the hype. Lemmings running out to the stores to catch the best deals. Lining up in the wee hours, surging forth as the doors open early, stampeding into the stores to be the first to grab the holy grail of gifts.

None of that for me, thank you. From now until well after Christmas, I'll be doing my best to avoid the stores on the weekends. I won't set foot near the mall. If I do need to get out and purchase something, it'll be on a week night. Less chance of crowds then.

I actually have the bulk of my Christmas shopping done. Just a few items remain, and those can easily be purchased online, saving me from having to brave the mayhem that will surely be taking place in the malls and shopping centers.

Perhaps I've been spoiled. I spent almost five years living overseas. It was a bit of an eye-opening experience for me. In that time, I learned that America truly is a consumer's paradise. If you want it, you can easily find it almost anywhere here. Not so much in the small villages in Europe. And while the pendulum is slowly swinging towards consumerism over there, it's not nearly as bad as it is here.

I guess I just don't see the sense in rushing around trying to compete against everyone else. Maybe I'm a scrooge. No – I think that it stems more from my dislike of crowds. They are worse this time of year, and I have no desire to try to navigate through parking lots and crowded store aisles trying to get those last few items that I need to round out my list while everyone else is just starting on theirs.

I took the easy road this year – I went out a couple of weeks ago and ordered most of our gifts to be shipped directly from the store to our families back home. That is ahuge convenience for me, as anyone that knows me knows that I am notoriously awful about mailing packages on time. I've got a couple of odds and ends at home to send out, and the remaining gifts can be ordered online, and shipped directly to the recipients. It's that easy for me this year, and it feels so good to be so far ahead of the game. Even my Christmas cards are already done – addressed and stuffed into envelopes, just awaiting postage.

So you won't find me rushing to the stores the day after Thanksgiving. Not even this weekend, as I have what I need at home already. I'll spend my holiday where I feel that I should be – at home with the California branch of my family enjoying the holidays.

Leaf

I met you in the winter.
You were barren.
Cold and scared looking.

I was so excited for spring.
You grew and looked so healthy.
Home for so many of my feathery friends.
 

Summer came.
Shade for my garden.

Autumn approached.
You turned golden, burnt orange, ravishing red.
I suddenly remembered last winter.

Oh shit.
You're crapping leaves all over my yard.
Faster than I can rake.

Silly tree.

Nesting

I love my home.  Of all the houses that my husband and I have shared, this one is by far my favorite.

We've shared five different dwellings, and this one is the first one that is trulyours.  It's the first home that we've actually purchased, and it is absolutely liberating.  Once I got past the gut-wrenching realization that I'm more in debt than I ever thought I would be now that we've taken on a mortgage, and my blood stopped running cold at the thought that we are the ones that will be responsible for what happens in and around the house, I found myself in awe.  This is our new home.  Ours!

I immediately took on the task of stamping our own personal signature on the house.  After years of living in rented places, and being restricted by the rules of others, the stark white walls throughout our house have been banished.  Gone in favor of warm caramels, sunny yellows, bold reds and the tranquility of greens and creams.  If you want to find a white wall in our house, you'll have to look in the closets.  Even the walls in the garage have been painted – though not by me…I'm not that obsessive!  But if they hadn't already been painted a light cream, I very well may have started allowing my eye to wander to those walls as well. 

Filling the house with our styles and tastes has been a joy for me.  I've agonized over decisions, changed some plans that I've got stored away in my head, and remain undecided on a few items.  I'll hammer out a final decision when the time comes, but in the mean time, I'll visualize all the possibilities in my mind.

We've made some minor changes to the house – changing out dated light fixtures in favor of more contemporary styles, discarding outdated ceiling fans in favor of newer styles, hiding the cookie-cutter white mini blinds behind colorful drapes and warm wooden blinds.  Hubby has personalized the garage to suit his needs – adding more storage, cutting an access to the attic and removing some shelves to make room for equipment that was vying for wall space.  We're making small changes now, with more major changes on the way.  When I look at the physical appearance of our home, I don't see it for what it is, I see it for what it has the potential to become. 

Over the years, we've selected pieces of furniture for our home that serve not only functional purposes, but also express a desire to create a cohesive design that reflects our style of living.  Having traded out mish-mashed hand-me-down furniture that merely served a purpose, if only temporary, for these newer pieces helps to contribute to the sense of satisfaction that I feel when I look around our home.  This space reflects who we are.  It is our home. 

I've worked hard to make our home warm and inviting.  I've rallied the troops (myself and Hubby) to clear away clutter in order to make our home more streamlined.  And I am absolutely in love with the results!  We have a warm and cozy living and dining area, a bright and sunny bedroom that easily darkens to block out the sun for lazy afternoon naps, a cheery guest room and a functional and efficient office. 

Our hallway and a prominent wall in the living area are filled with a gallery of favorite photos that highlight our families and our travels, as well as souvenirs collected on our many adventures.  When people enter our home, they naturally gravitate to these displays of our favorite memories.  We're always happy to share the story behind whatever picture has caught someone's eye.  It's a way of sharing our lives…inviting someone in.

I feel that I have truly created a nest for myself, Hubby and our furry critters to snuggle in and enjoy our time together.  Sometimes, when given the choice of spending a quiet evening at home or going out and spending an evening out on the town, I prefer to choose staying home.  This is our sanctuary, our own personal space and I revel in spending time with my husband and our furry ones behind these cozy and protective walls. 

My Tarot Card

You are The Moon

Hope, Expectation, Bright Promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

Military Wife

For six years, I was a Military Wife.  It was a role that would fundamentally change me forever.  As a Military Wife, I learned many things about myself.  How to be strong, how to let go, how to be self-sufficient.  In my role as a Military Wife, I grew and matured.

My husband is no longer in the military.  But I believe that once you are a Military Wife, you are one for life.  It is a badge of honor that I am proud to bear.

Our time with the military made us stronger, and proved to us that our love is going the distance.  I don't recommend it for everyone.  Military life is trying, and not everyone's marriage makes the cut.  I'm proud to say that ours did.

Following is an article that I found early in our marriage, and early in our military lives.  Throughout my husband's time in the military, it hung in a frame in every one of our homes.  The words have always rang true to me, and I'd like to share it.

Military Home Has A Special Kind of Love

By Tammy Dominski

You know, they say love is a friendship that has caught fire.

But what is love? Sometimes love comes on strong, and you recognize it right away, and other times it sneaks up behind you and whispers in your ear when you least expect it.

You don't find love. It finds you. And when a spark ignites between two people, it's magic.

But is loving someone in the military any different? Oh, I think so…

It's easy to love someone that comes home at a normal hour every night, when you have predictability in your life, and plans are not easily changed.

Loving a soldier takes something extra, and takes a lot out of you. As military spouses, as it is with wives of policemen, firemen and others, you become unflappable, somewhat of a superwoman. You have to be when you have to live with a cloud of daily uncertainty over your life. It makes you stronger and makes you grow up, whether you want it to or not. And you learn that love comes in a whole new array of new forms.

Love military-style isn't always apparent. It doesn't have to be in roses, or tiny gold heart-shaped boxes of Godiva chocolates. Saying "I love you" is easy. The challenge is in showing it.

Because you care

Love is in a funny card, sent as an afterthought for no special reason, or a cup of coffee brought to you by loving hands. It's a poem written on tattered paper, perhaps smudged with the soil of a foreign country, scribbled while on a bunk a million miles away. Love waits on the green ramp at Pope Air Force Base for the return of a loved one.

Love is in a phone call before a field exercise to say goodbye. It's in a call when the training is over to say, "We're back."

Love holds you when you're sad and claps the loudest when you achieve a goal for yourself. It doesn't hold you down or back, or put you on a pedestal. Love isn't about finding the perfect person. It's about seeing an imperfect person perfectly.

Love is a wink across a crowded room, a joke only two people in love would find amusing and a smile that warms the heart. It's the excitement of going to the all-ranks ball, finding the perfect dress and anticipating the night like you were going to the prom. It's in the way your breath stops when he steps out of the bedroom in his dress blues and you realize just how handsome your soldier really is.

Love is respecting each other's boundaries and accepting each other's faults as though they were your own. It understands when the candles on the dining room table burn down, illuminating a dinner gone uneaten because "duty called." Love realizes that marrying a soldier takes an extra bit of consideration.

Sharing Life

Love is an evening spent on the patio long after the kids have been put to sleep, talking well into the night about places you're going, goals you want to achieve or simply laughing at the craziness of life. It's in a shared sunset with only the sound of artillery between you, no words spoken at all.

Love is in a kiss, brushed against a sleeping cheek before going to work, or a hug in the kitchen at the end of the day. It's in the cookies baked to send overseas, made with tenderness and care. It's in pictures sent to a faraway land with the hope that they will bring a little sunshine to someone's life that day. It's in the moon, looking at it and knowing that even though you might be away from the one you love, he's seeing that same moon.

Love is your support system and your shoulder to cry on, yet at the same time it lets you make your own mistakes. Herman Hesse once said, "Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it's letting go." Love allows for that.

Love is an adventure shared by two people that have found each other.

Being associated with the military in any way is just one big adventure after another.

Remember, you never lose from loving, you lose from holding back. So as the most romantic day of the year approaches, show those special people in your life you love them. And if you don't have anyone special in your life right now, watch out, love happens when you aren't looking. As always, until my next adventure, hoo-ah.

Sacrifice

Okay…one of my biggest pet peeves is people that whine. Especially people that whine about being separated from their loved ones.

I get totally turned off about someone if they can't stand a little separation. And I think that my feelings here are justified. My husband just left for his second tour in the Middle East. This one was voluntary.

My husband and I have been married for almost seven years. We've been together as a couple for over nine years. In the time that we've been together, we've dealt with our fair share of separation.

The entire first year that Hubby and I dated, we lived hundreds of miles apart, and only saw each other on weekends. We made every weekend but two during that first year. Then we moved in together. You might think that we would get to see plenty of each other while sharing the same space. No such luck…I worked days, he worked nights. This went on for eight months…then his employer sent him to another state to work. I remember randomly bursting into tears throughout the weekend when he told me. We arrived for a magical weekend at Disney on Friday, and he sprung the news to me that he was leaving on Sunday. We were reduced to only seeing each other for one weekend every month after that.

This went on for four months. Then Hubby made the fateful decision to join the military. He came home for one month, and then went off to basic training.

Prior to this, our separations had been easy. We were able to communicate pretty much at will…and this was well before we had cell phones. We would communicate online often, and he would call me all the time.

This luxury ended when he joined the military. Freedom of personal choice was gone. We could no longer talk to each other whenever we wanted to. We were reduced to fleeting calls that would happen unpredictably, and they were short. He rarely left a message on our answering machine when he called and I wasn't home. When he called my parents' house on Thanksgiving day and I wasn't there to talk to him, I cried when I found out that I missed his call. We exchanged letters through the mail - I went to great lengths to make sure that I sent him something every day while he was gone.

His basic training was interrupted for two weeks at Christmas, when he got the opportunity to come home and we eloped. Then he returned to finish up his training. A month later, I traveled with his parents to spend some time with him at his graduation. It was bittersweet - our time together after this new type of separation would be shared with his parents, so our time alone would be fleeting. And the time that we did get to spend together was bound by new rules - he was in the military now, and under the watchful eyes of Drill Sergeants.

It was at this short lived reunion that I told Hubby that I was tired of not being with him. He would be on his way to his new school, and he would be there long enough that the military would pay to move me from Florida to be with him. I told Hubby that I didn't care what it took, I wanted us to be together, so make it happen. I was tired of separation - especially this new kind that was burdened with rules and unpredictable communications.

Two months later, I was on my way to this new life. We would finally be together, but the path would be difficult. During the eight months that I would live in Alabama, he would live at the house with me for awhile, and then at the whim of the Drill Sergeants, he would be pulled back into living at the barracks. He would be required to put in late nights at school.  I was with him, but not really getting to be with him. And for a young newlywed, that was hard.

When our time in Alabama ended, we had a month or so to loaf around with our families before reporting to our new duty station and our new life - in Europe. As the time to leave crept even closer, problems would crop up and I couldn't leave with my husband. It would take two weeks before the paperwork would be fixed and I could join him.  We had now been married for over a year, together as a couple for three and a half years, and the vast majority of that time had been spent separated.

At this point, things calmed down. We settled into life together - reallytogether for the first time. He had a job that kept him home with me for the most part. He would occasionally have to pull duty, or go for training for a few days, and after all that we had been through up to this point, it would be easy. We would even go on trips separately - something that would amaze our friends. I spent a week or so traveling around Germany with an old friend of mine and her parents, and Hubby stayed home. He flew back to Florida to see his family, and I went to Spain. He even spent a month training in Poland, and it wasn't so bad.

The turning point, and I believe the true test, came after the terrorist attacks on New York, Pennsylvania and Washington DC on September 11^th.  I knew that when those attacks happened, our lives would be changed. Sure enough, most of the soldiers on the base that we lived on deployed for a year or more. By a strange twist of fate, Hubby was not among them. He was in all actuality attached to another unit that wasn't slated to go. But our time would come.

In February of 2004, he and his unit departed for the Middle East. The months leading up to this departure were a little bit trying. We knew that it was coming - and there was a lot of preparation that came beforehand. He was selected to go on a special training mission that took him away from home for a few weeks. Just what we needed - separation before separation. Late nights would be on hand as he and his unit prepared for their departure. I took it all well. I knew that all of this was part of the obligation. We were in it - for better or worse, and we were prepared. After all, we had become old hats at this game of separation. We would be fine.

But when he departed, and I saw the buses leaving the post with all of our soldiers on them, I was suddenly hit with it. These busses were full of people that I knew - and I was standing among their loved ones - and my husband was driving away - and I wasn't one hundred percent sure that I would see him again. This wasn't him flying off to Maryland to go to work…he was headed off to war. Would I be OK if he didn't make it back?

All told, from his departure in February of 2004 to his return in February of 2005, we would be separated for 49 weeks. We returned to a life of intermittent phone conversations - but this time, we were better able to communicate via email and instant messaging. I got information from his chain of command and knew that things were going OK for the soldiers downrange. We reunited for two weeks in the middle of his deployment - back in Florida among our families. Other military spouses thought that I was crazy for "sharing" my precious little bit of time with my husband with our families. But truth be told, they don't get to see him often enough. For all of the separation that we endure, sharing him with those that share a relationship with him isn't so bad. They are family, after all.

Now we're separated again. I find myself in a situation that is so similar to the one that I was in back in February of 2004. Hubby is again gone - he's been away from home for a week and a half now, and stepped on a plane this evening that will ferry him back to the Middle East. This time, I don't have the close-knit community that I had before. No friends going through the same situation, no family nearby to lean on. It's almost uncharted territory, except that we've lived this life in so many incarnations. The phone calls will be intermittent, he will never have much to say, there will be email and instant message communications, and again the burden will be mostly on me to keep the conversation going. What can I say - he's not a gabber. But it's OK. He'll be on the other end of the line, and that's all I can really ask for.

We hope that the separation won't be for as long this time. And, as always, we hope that he makes it home safe and unchanged. These separations and sacrifices make us stronger. We know that the other will be there for us.

So don't come to me expecting sympathy because your boyfriend is leaving town for a week. Or because you're leaving town for a few days and don't know how you'll be able to make it without him. You won't find any sympathy here. If I hear someone on TV crying because they can't stand to be separated from their boyfriend or girlfriend for a few weeks or months, I'm likely to change the channel. I have before. Try saying goodbye to the single person that means the most to you in the whole world, not being able to be sure that you'll see them alive again. A few days here and there is nothing compared to that.

We make the sacrifices now, so that we can be assured of a better future…together.