Following is a list of my major pet peeves, in no particular order (except for that first one…):
1. Misuse of the apostrophe. If you were to ask me on any given day what my number one pet peeve is, this one would win hands down. Nothing annoys me more than to see a professionally printed sign with the apostrophe used where is shouldn't be. "DVD's For Sale." Are we saying that the "for sale" belongs to the DVDs?? Because that is what is implied by the sign. It's very sad to me that this type of misuse is so common that people don't even notice when it happens anymore.
2. People that chew with their mouth open. I neither want to see or hear you food as it begins the digestive process. Take smaller bites, press your lips together and chew. Keep your lips closed. It's not hard. I absolutely cannot stand the sound of smacking! (gum included) I've even been known to get up and move away from an offender.
3. Repeating myself. I hate this. In my current job, it appears that I am responsible for informing sixteen different people where the other admin is when she is away from her desk, or where the latest plate of goodies has come from. And it appears that I get the joy of doing this for each individual as they mosey up to the front of the office. I am not a parrot. I've actually taken to writing down where something comes from and sticking the note next to said goodies. Woe be to the person that opens their mouth without bothering to read the note. I'm about to suggest to the other admin that she send out an email, detailing her schedule, every time that she gets up from her desk. It seems that as soon as she turns the corner, she is the most popular person on the floor. Maddening!
4. People that tune out of a group conversation, then tune back in and insist on knowing what development has happened in the past two minutes. If you cannot multi-task your attention span, then don't try. Focus on the conversation at hand. Please refer to pet peeve #3.
5. Those stupid prank calls that comedians conduct and then record to share with the whole world. I don't know what is more sad…the fact that someone bothers to waste a customer service representative's time on these worthless endeavors, or the fact that said customer service representative actually falls for the story being spun to them? I heard one last week that actually had a representative believing that a potential customer's walls fell down, leaving their windows suspended in mid air. With nothing supporting them. I thought that the gig might be up when her supervisor came on the line and informed the "customer" that there was no way that windows could be hanging in mid air with no support. Sadly, the comedian managed to convince the supervisor that this was indeed the case, and she actually fell for it. *sigh* I didn't laugh…I just shook my head. Idiots! Which leads into my next pet peeve…
6. Stupidity and idiocy. How can some people be so dumb? So stupid? So unable to see the writing on the wall, right in front of them? I'm not talking about intelligence…I'm talking about people that have no common sense. People that can't look at the entire picture, put two and two together and come to a simple conclusion. They should be shot…all of them. At the very least, I'm voting them off of my island.
7. People that can't drive. And there are millions of them out there. And I do believe that the bulk of them are in the same part of town that I am in at any given moment. It is so easy to see how road rage can become such an issue…to be stuck behind someone that insists on going five miles per hour below the speed limit…to be cut off by someone yakking on their cell phone…watching people charge through red lights (while yakking on their cell phone)…people that don't use their blinkers to signal turns (while yakking on their cell phone)…people that in general don't know where they're going (are they getting directions from their cell phone?!?)…people that slam on their brakes rather than miss their turn…people that ride out the merge lane until the last possible second, then insist that you let them in…rubber-neckers and people that cause traffic to back up on freeways for no apparent reason…my list could go on and on. Every morning, if my windows are covered with condensation, I take the time to squeegee them off so that I stand a better chance of steering clear of all the idiots out there. I'm not saying that I'm perfect…I'm just better than a lot of other people out there.
8. Ah, a personal favorite of mine…Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part. I am a planner and an organizer. DO NOT rush up to me at the last minute needing something faxed, mailed, fedexed or delivered to another department. The deadlines are the same every day. You know what they are, and they're there for a reason. Just because you chose not to meet your deadline does not automatically mean that I now need to be rushed to do something for you. Particularly when it is time to go home.
9. People that are entirely out of touch with reality. I'm not specifically referring to the Paris Hiltons out there…you don't have to be rich to be out of touch. There are plenty of "commoners" out there that have lost touch with reality. If someone says that they're not participating in a specific endeavor, don't ask a lot of unnecessary questions. That runs the risk of opening up an ugly can of uncomfortableness for someone. Just because you can do it doesn't mean that everyone else can. And speaking of not asking questions…
10. Nosy busy bodies. If I happen to overhear a conversation that I figure I shouldn't be hearing, I try to tune it out. If I can't tune it out for whatever reason, I certainly don't start asking questions. There are certain things that are not my business, and I'm pretty darned good at realizing what those things are. I also can't stand when people start sticking their noses into my personal business and I do my best to cut them off as kindly as I can. I may come off as a little cold while I'm doing it, but if you hadn't been sticking your nose in my business, I wouldn't have had to go there.
11. Having to explain myself. For whatever reason. Why did I choose to go here instead of there? Why did I do this instead of that? See complaint outlined in pet peeve #10.
12. People that feel the need to throw their two cents in…when they should have kept the change. Not everything requires a comment or the expression of your opinion. Sometimes, it is better to keep your mouth shut and not say anything at all. Quite often, that is the best action to take.
13. Slow talkers. This includes people that call a business with no real thought process having gone into the direction that they want the conversation to go. "Uh…this is Jane Doe…and…uh…I was calling because…uh…" GET TO THE POINT ALREADY!!!
14. Hypocrisy. Why should it be OK for you to do something, but not for someone else? I absolutely hate people that lay down double standards. I've actually been known to call some people out on this… "Uh, hello pot…this is kettle…"
15. People that insist that your opinion is wrong. Just because my opinion is different than yours doesn't make one right and the other one wrong. Hmmm…last time I checked, opinions were opinions and not subject to the court of right vs. wrong.
16. People that try to impose their beliefs on other people. It can be religious beliefs, dietary beliefs, beliefs in aliens…whatever. Believe and practice what you want to…just keep it over there and don't try to press it on me.
This list is not all inclusive. I have other pet peeves. Trust me on that. I've chosen to leave some out for the sake of tact. Ah…yes…let's add people that lack tact to my list. We'll make that one #17.
On this note, my New Year's Resolution is to practice tolerance. Mark your calendars…I hereby vow to do my best to be more tolerant of others. I will work to practice my "Duck Theory of Relativity." No…that doesn't mean to duck and hope that you don't get hit. It means letting things roll off my back and not affect me in a negative way.
I make no promises…especially when it comes to stupidity and idiocy. But I will try.
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