Military Wife

For six years, I was a Military Wife.  It was a role that would fundamentally change me forever.  As a Military Wife, I learned many things about myself.  How to be strong, how to let go, how to be self-sufficient.  In my role as a Military Wife, I grew and matured.

My husband is no longer in the military.  But I believe that once you are a Military Wife, you are one for life.  It is a badge of honor that I am proud to bear.

Our time with the military made us stronger, and proved to us that our love is going the distance.  I don't recommend it for everyone.  Military life is trying, and not everyone's marriage makes the cut.  I'm proud to say that ours did.

Following is an article that I found early in our marriage, and early in our military lives.  Throughout my husband's time in the military, it hung in a frame in every one of our homes.  The words have always rang true to me, and I'd like to share it.

Military Home Has A Special Kind of Love

By Tammy Dominski

You know, they say love is a friendship that has caught fire.

But what is love? Sometimes love comes on strong, and you recognize it right away, and other times it sneaks up behind you and whispers in your ear when you least expect it.

You don't find love. It finds you. And when a spark ignites between two people, it's magic.

But is loving someone in the military any different? Oh, I think so…

It's easy to love someone that comes home at a normal hour every night, when you have predictability in your life, and plans are not easily changed.

Loving a soldier takes something extra, and takes a lot out of you. As military spouses, as it is with wives of policemen, firemen and others, you become unflappable, somewhat of a superwoman. You have to be when you have to live with a cloud of daily uncertainty over your life. It makes you stronger and makes you grow up, whether you want it to or not. And you learn that love comes in a whole new array of new forms.

Love military-style isn't always apparent. It doesn't have to be in roses, or tiny gold heart-shaped boxes of Godiva chocolates. Saying "I love you" is easy. The challenge is in showing it.

Because you care

Love is in a funny card, sent as an afterthought for no special reason, or a cup of coffee brought to you by loving hands. It's a poem written on tattered paper, perhaps smudged with the soil of a foreign country, scribbled while on a bunk a million miles away. Love waits on the green ramp at Pope Air Force Base for the return of a loved one.

Love is in a phone call before a field exercise to say goodbye. It's in a call when the training is over to say, "We're back."

Love holds you when you're sad and claps the loudest when you achieve a goal for yourself. It doesn't hold you down or back, or put you on a pedestal. Love isn't about finding the perfect person. It's about seeing an imperfect person perfectly.

Love is a wink across a crowded room, a joke only two people in love would find amusing and a smile that warms the heart. It's the excitement of going to the all-ranks ball, finding the perfect dress and anticipating the night like you were going to the prom. It's in the way your breath stops when he steps out of the bedroom in his dress blues and you realize just how handsome your soldier really is.

Love is respecting each other's boundaries and accepting each other's faults as though they were your own. It understands when the candles on the dining room table burn down, illuminating a dinner gone uneaten because "duty called." Love realizes that marrying a soldier takes an extra bit of consideration.

Sharing Life

Love is an evening spent on the patio long after the kids have been put to sleep, talking well into the night about places you're going, goals you want to achieve or simply laughing at the craziness of life. It's in a shared sunset with only the sound of artillery between you, no words spoken at all.

Love is in a kiss, brushed against a sleeping cheek before going to work, or a hug in the kitchen at the end of the day. It's in the cookies baked to send overseas, made with tenderness and care. It's in pictures sent to a faraway land with the hope that they will bring a little sunshine to someone's life that day. It's in the moon, looking at it and knowing that even though you might be away from the one you love, he's seeing that same moon.

Love is your support system and your shoulder to cry on, yet at the same time it lets you make your own mistakes. Herman Hesse once said, "Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it's letting go." Love allows for that.

Love is an adventure shared by two people that have found each other.

Being associated with the military in any way is just one big adventure after another.

Remember, you never lose from loving, you lose from holding back. So as the most romantic day of the year approaches, show those special people in your life you love them. And if you don't have anyone special in your life right now, watch out, love happens when you aren't looking. As always, until my next adventure, hoo-ah.