How Bizarre

Destination unknown, as we pull in for some gas 
Freshly pasted poster reveals a smile from the past

I decided to take a step into my past tonight and go to the mall. No purpose in mind…just an excuse to get out of the house for a couple of hours and wander about idly.

It used to be that the mall was a wonderland of opportunity. Shops and bargains galore. Favored stores, fashions, shoes, accessories and other endless opportunities to spend money. I was a mall rat in my late teens and early twenties. Days spent working at the mall, earning my money and spending it all in one place.

I had so many clothes. CDs. Shoes. Stuff.

If boredom hit, I could easily blast it away at the mall.

These days, I feel out of place in a mall. I've been so far removed from the lifestyle of consumerism that it's like I'm on a foreign planet when I set foot in the mall. In the past year, I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've ventured into the mall.

I've lived so long in a setting devoid of major crowds and in an environment not centered on the ideals of consumerism. After the culture shock wore off, the slower pace was so nice…it suited me.

Ring master steps out and says "the elephants left town" 
People jump and jive, but the clowns have stuck around

I've spent the past year trying to get a feel for the blaring lifestyle that has come with reintegrating ourselves back into the motherland. Bright lights, crowds, speed, maneuvering through throngs of people. Even with all the opportunities available to me in the recent past, I've avoided so much. Part of it was to resist the temptations of evil. Part of it is because I don't want to deal with the hassle. I miss the simpler lifestyle that we've left behind.

Tonight, I chose the mall that I knew would be least crowded. In a way this mall, like me, is stuck in a time warp. It was so quiet…as I wandered down the main corridor, surrounded by the neon and glaring lights, it almost didn't seem so bad. I meandered in the bookstore. I perused some old favorites of mine. I looked at clothing, but nothing really appealed to me. I checked out a couple of kitschy stores and marveled at the gaudiness adorning the walls. Stores that I used to spend all of my time and money in seem so foreign to me now.

My perspectives have changed. I don't feel the satisfaction that I used to in spending my time fighting crowds and throwing my money at the vendors in the mall. I'd so much rather spend my time with my family, in our home. Or out together, exploring the area that surrounds us.

And somewhere, the credit card companies weep, as my Hubby breathes a sigh of relief.

I've changed into a creature of practicality. I feel more at home in a hardware store than I do in Victoria's Secret.

In the end, I walked out with a bag full of greeting cards, a key chain declaring that "I heart my dog" (for my work keys) and a hot chocolate from Starbucks. My, how things have changed.

How bizarre 
How bizarre, how bizarre